![]() General Mills promised to “get to the bottom of it,” and their CEO Tweeted he took this all “very seriously.” Jensen pledged himself to “ultimate transparency” and posted, “I am happy to report: a Carcinologist (crustacean researcher) that works at Natural History Museum of Los Angeles is going to morphologically identify the shrimp using microscopy and he will work with a team of researchers to use DNA to try and identify the putative shrimp down to species. Bad idea, General Mills.īy now, CNN, NBC and the other usual suspects had picked up the story and the whole thing went viral. I want you to take custody of all of it.” Once the sheriffs stop laughing, the only thing that might go into custody is Jensen. ![]() ![]() When I opened it, there were shrimp tails inside. I can see it now: Jensen walks into the Sherriff’s Station in Topanga, where he lives, and says: “I have a box of Cinnamon Toast Crunch here. General Mills replied that if Jensen wouldn’t send them the shrimp tails, he should take them to “a police station.” Brilliant. Labeling the shrimp tails “melted sugar and cinnamon” repulsed Jensen, and he called General Mills a bunch of “weirdos.” Clearly, you can’t challenge a man’s shrimp parts and expect to get away with it. Could sugar and cinnamon melt into the shape of a shrimp tail? Maybe once – – but twice? And both of them in the same box? Naah. Now, I’m wondering who’s telling tales about tails. Jensen declined and General Mills then proclaimed that Jensen’s shrimp tails photo actually showed sugar and cinnamon congealed into the shape of shrimp tails. But the Gods weren’t done yet.Īs Jensen’s investigative journalism surpassed 154,000 “likes” on his Twitter account, Shrimpgate came to the attention of General Mills, who responded that they wanted the crustaceous caudae shipped to them for testing. Clearly, the breakfast food Gods had stricken one of their own. Confirming fealty to his favorite food, he proclaims, “I own the Kyrie Irving Cinnamon Toast Crunch Nikes” ($800). Despite all this, Jensen says he loves Cinnamon Toast Crunch and that it’s the only cereal he eats. Jensen’s cereal box contained everything but the Rosetta Stone and a partridge in a pear tree. Now, if finding shrimp tails in a box of breakfast cereal isn’t weird enough, Jensen tells us he went back to the box and also found some string, more shrimp body parts and what he thinks is baked rat poop. Jensen tells us he found a couple of shrimp tails in the box, and even posted a picture of them on Twitter. On March 23rd, comedy writer Jensen Karp decided to have a bowl of General Mills’ Cinnamon Toast Crunch.
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